Today I want to discuss something that I have been learning the last few months. One of my BF’s is taking a Life Coaching Course in Weight Loss and she has so graciously educated me on what she is learning, and boy, what a different way of thinking for me.
Now I am always a big believer in growing and never becoming stagnant, not with technology, not with relationships, not with knowledge. Sometimes when you learn something new, it means changing your whole perspective on things…and because what I am learning makes sense to me, I just knew I had to dig a littler deeper into this philosophy of coaching and try it out which means I’ve also had to make changes along the way.
Today I’m not going to touch on the Weight Loss tricks per say (I want to keep you coming back for more … hey I might be blonde, but I ain’t no dummy), rather I’m going to talk about the philosophy of the whole premise of this style of coaching. Now no worries, I’m not poaching or stealing this knowledge that I have had the privilege of learning because the AWESOME coach (Brooke Castillo) wants and allows me to shout it out from the roof tops and is very generous to share her PDF books, so look her up. (www.brookecastillo.com)
The whole philosophy is how ONLY YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF HOW YOU FEEL. What do I mean by this? Well, in a nutshell for example, I can only blame myself for how I feel and NO ONE ELSE. I can no longer say to my husband, “Joel, when you said or did this to me….you really hurt my feelings. You made me FEEL sad and rejected and unloved and… (the list could really go on, can’t it ladies? )” Why, you say?? Because ONLY I have the power to feel a certain way, and I’m not willing to give that power to anyone else (or at least I’m working on it and believe me, its still a work in progress…right Joel? haha). It doesn’t mean that what I feel is not validated and Joel is now allowed to BE A JERK and be mean to me, it just means that I have the power to allow it to make or break my day.
Stay with me here, because if there is anything you take away from reading this blog, I hope it is this…THE MODEL.
There is only ONE TRUTH, ONE CIRCUMSTANCE and this TRUTH is something that can be proven in a court of law.
For example, “Yes your honor when I stepped on the scale this morning, it said I was 289 lbs.” It can be proven, it is a truth.
Now you have the power to attach a positive or negative THOUGHT to that truth which then leads you into FEELING that truth. Now in order to show you both scenarios, lets stick with one scenario at a time and the first scenario goes like this:
“Yes your honor, I solemnly swear that the scale said I was 289 lbs this morning”.
“And what did you THINK when you saw this number?” asks the judge.
“Oh man, I was ready to whip that piece of metal out the window. I am such a failure. No matter what I do… I go to the gym, I don’t go to the gym, it doesn’t matter, nothing works. There is something wrong with me and I have no self-control at all. I’m disgusting.
The judge takes off his spectacles and looks over his bench and asks, “So after you thought this about yourself…how did it make you feel?”
“Are you kidding?” I huff at him. “It made me feel depressed and defeated and disappointed and…need I really go on??”
The judge then says “And what happened next, what did you do the rest of the day after this weigh in?”
“Well, I decided not to go to the gym, because why bother? And then I went to Safeway and bought the biggest container of ice cream and came home and ate half of it”.
“I see,” says the judge. “And the next weigh in day, what happened?”
“I gained another pound.” I say defeated.
The judge then takes his gavel and stamps it out on his beautiful mahogany desk and triumphantly shouts out, “GUILTY AS CHARGED! You did this to yourself. You are dismissed”.
I’m sure that scenario is pretty self-explanatory of the MODEL but just in case, here it is again because Brooke says it best,
BELIEFS ARE THOUGHTS
that cause
FEELINGS
that cause
ACTIONS
that cause
RESULTS
Now lets do this model again with a different scenario…and without wasting your time, just pretend the judge is part of this conversation asking the same questions. Here it is broken down:
Thought: At first I was disappointed but then I remembered how awesome I am doing at the gym. I used to use 5 lb dumbbells for my bicep curls and now I’m up to 10 lbs. I used to huff and puff just going up the stairs to the gym floor and now I challenge myself by running them just to feel my heart rate go up.
Feeling: STRONG, ENERGETIC, ABLE, PROUD
Action: I decided to go to the gym and do 45 minutes cardio instead of my regular 30 minutes and on the way home, I stopped at our local healthy market and bought me some very delicious and healthy meals to make over the next few days.
Result: I lost 1.5lb my next weigh in date.
“Good for you” says the Judge. “We can use that kind of passion and dedication in our community, keep up the good work and spread your enthusiasm to everyone you meet. Yes, you have a journey ahead of you but I am confident that nothing and no one will get in your way, not even yourself. And to all you bullies out there, lay down the whip. Stop being a bully. Learn to love yourself. Talk kindly to yourself. Respect yourself and give yourself a break. Stay positive. Take the power that is yours and use it to benefit you and build yourself up. Case dismissed.”
So hard to live, but so true!